This is an outrage.
Have you heard about this?
May is National Bike Month.
What, we can't go out on our bikes in April, or June? Whoa...what? Is somebody pulling my leg?
I'm looking all over the internet and this looks legit. Everybody seems to know about it. Could this actually be ...true?
Now wait a minute....Steve-O and I were planning to ride the Seattle-To-Portland in July. I don't think I've ever seen him get mad about something, but this absolutely push him over the edge. Oh geez, the STP is a 10,000 rider event. I wonder how they'll refund everybody. That's gonna be a big headache. Whose idea was this "bike month," anyways? Probably some idiot in Washington.
You know, there's just too much governmental control these days. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for change and stuff, as long as it doesn't affect me. Well, I think it's time we do something about this, people. I think I speak for all spandex-wearing, law-abiding cyclists in this country when I say, we don't appreciate somebody deciding which month of the year we can go out and ride our bikes. Cyclists in America have had enough and we are NOT going to take this lying down!
In fact, I have an idea...yeah, this could actually work...
Let's say we all pretend to be okay with this "National Bike Month." We'll ride our little brains out and appear to be as happy as little clams at high tide. We will all be out there playing our parts as if we're going along with this.
You can probably see where I'm going with this plan...On June 1, we will make our statement to the world. We roll up our garage doors, get on our bicycles, and ride. Yes, people, ride proud and strong, and show everybody that we will NOT let Washington take away our rights to ride every other month on the calendar! And, as a sign of solidarity, we will all wear spandex! Yes, and people will keep going out and riding every day of the whole calendar year! We'll do this in shifts, of course. But we'll be out there. Oh, this could actually work!
Are you with me, people? We can do this, but I need your help! Spread the word!
Long live the revolution!
Somebody better call CNN.