At the very top the 'Stupidest Things I've Ever Done" list is the time when I agreed to be in a pharmaceutical study. Back in the early 90's My doctor told me I fit the profile to participate in it because of my chronic asthma. Among other things, they'd induce asthma to see how well the medicine worked. I agreed to do it. Stupid! I'd go in there once a month and breathe in this crap that made me have an attack. Then they'd "bring me back" with a breathing treatment and send me on my way. What an idiot. But I did it for money. Yes, for a brief period of time I was an asthma prostitute. It was stupid and I wouldn't do it again. I'm not proud of what I did, but don't judge me. I knew the whole time that I was "just another pair of lungs" to them, but I didn't care at the time. I had designs on getting that money.
By the time my check for $750 came I knew exactly what I was going to do with it. I had a good dependable mountain bike, but I wanted something a little more nimble and efficient for riding on the roads. I found it at the nearby bike shop, a Schwinn Passage with a sale tag hanging from the handlebars: $749.99. I did everything I could to not appear impulsive when I finally bought it with my stupid inhaler study money. The truth is, it captivated me when I first saw it. This maroon and black Schwinn shined, and it looked fast just standing there. It was pretty light and stiff for a cromoly bike, and the components were just good enough to make me feel like I was riding first class with the elite riders. Fifteen years and thousands of road miles have gone by, and a newer sleeker bike is now hanging in the garage. But my "inhaler bike" is still with me, now on the trainer, and I love it.
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