Talking Points

Time for another confession: when I’m out on the open road on my bike, I talk to myself. Loudly.

For instance, when I’m approaching a big hill or headwind, I yell, “C’mon, kids!”  

Why do I do that? It’s kind of dumb; there are no kids around me. Are the “kids” my pedals?...legs?...I don’t know, but I do seem to listen and respond to, well, me.  

Sometimes I’ll shout, “giddyup,”  like I’m some sort of jockey and my bike is Sea Biscuit.  Really?  Sure enough, I pick up the cadence and gallop on the pedals.  Good horsey.

“Oof!” That’s a high-pitched noise I make when I’m rolling on top of loose gravel or some object that I just couldn’t avoid. Don’t know why, it’s just what I do. Another sound I’m fond of making is “ee-yaw!” which is an ascending-descending glissando that peaks at a high c#.  Maybe I’m telling myself to “see sharp.”  

Maybe I need to go see a cyclo-analyst.

The thing is, most folks probably don’t hear me because they’re whizzing by in their cars with their windows rolled all the way up. Besides, they’re way too busy talking on their cell phones while changing radio stations. They don't have time to pay any attention to what else is happening around them.

So I’m out in the great wide open on a bike by myself, talking out loud and making sound effects.  Am I losing it, or do other people do this, too?

Shut up, Kelly.  Nobody's interested in this!

‘kay. Sorry.