Moss-taken Identity

As a fellow cyclist, I’m concerned.

Maybe you heard this news story yesterday about the bloke up in Hillsboro Oregon, caught wearing a moss suit outside a museum of precious gemstones and minerals. Officials claim he’s responsible for cutting a hole into the wall of the museum. A few days later he was spotted outside. The police dog apprehended him without chase (or bark). They allege that he planned to burglarize the place, and carry the loot away on his bicycle stashed on the grounds.

The “moss man” has an alibi: this was a halloween suit given to him by his kids.  

Clearly, he was just hanging outside at the gemstone museum, trying to be a fun guy.

Sounds sort of slippery, doesn’t it?

Hmmm...man in moss suit, riding a bike, precious gems...this just doesn’t add up. We all know that a rolling moss gathers no stones.

So, what can we liken this to? I’m stumped.

At any rate, next month the moss man will find out his fate with the judge. I’m going out on a limb to say that we need to do something for this poor mosstaken cyclist. We need to build awareness of this case, and maybe help with a little bit of a defense fund.  The cycling community is good at this political grass roots stuff, right?

That’s why I propose an event...Critical Moss.  That’s right.  On Halloween evening, I we should all don our moss suits (you all have one, too, right?) and hang together. The more I think about this, the more I’m likin’ it. 

It’s growing on you, too, right?

Hang in there, moss man. Help is on the way.